Never
by oh-you-pretty-things
Summary: She never meant for this to happen. Never.


**Disclaimer: I don't own How To Train Your Dragon or any of the associated characters or settings.**

_AN: Okay, I'm sorry. There's sexual tension between Astrid and Eret in that damn movie and I can't just leave it alone._

She never meant for this to happen. Never. In fact not long ago she would never have imagined that it _could_ happen. They were a pair, always together. And then _that_ had happened. Suddenly they weren't joking around anymore. Suddenly he didn't have time to come by her house with wildflowers, or to make her a better saddle, or just to kiss her goodnight. Suddenly his promises had started to fall flat.

She couldn't ask him about it because if she did then they'd have to address the bare, stinging truth. He'd never made her an offer. He'd never made her an offer and a contract had never been drawn. He'd never made her an offer and he was Chief now. He'd never made her an offer and she had offered him everything. He'd taken everything.

The truth was she thought they would be married. Stoick had wanted it. Astrid had wanted it. Hiccup, she thought, had wanted it. Then he was in a meeting with the other Chiefs, talking for days. When he came to her door at the end of the third day, she'd known it before he could even say it. His eyes, his warm, green eyes, held sadness and regret.

"Astrid," he'd started.

"Don't," she'd said.

It hadn't been pleading. It had been hard and cold as the ice that now spiked through their village. His eyes had faltered just a bit and she'd softened enough to ask.

"Who?"

He'd swallowed and she'd watched his throat - long pale throat that she knew so well, that she'd fit her head against, that she'd kissed and teased.

"Camicazi."

Astrid had snorted. That would not be a fun marriage. Hiccup seemed to misinterpret her; he reached a hand out and rested it on her upper arm. She fought the urge to tear herself away from his grip.

"It's solely political," he explained. _His_ voice was pleading. "You know if it could be any other way, I'd make it happen."

She wanted to snort. She wanted to laugh at him even though this was no laughing matter. Instead she met his gaze fully.

"Do I know that?"

"Astrid."

She hated his voice in that instant. The exasperation of it. The way he said her name. All of it.

"You could have made me an offer a long time ago, Hiccup."

"I didn't think I'd have to."

"You thought I'd just be there for you, always?"

"Yes! No! Wouldn't you be?"

Astrid's eyebrows went up and Hiccup braced himself for her fist, but she found she couldn't even be bothered to hit him.

"Go away," she said, her voice low.

"Astrid, I'm sor—"

"Shut up. Go."

He finally let go of her. He knew her well enough to know when to walk away. It didn't mean he wouldn't be back again to try later. But she wouldn't be his lover. She wouldn't be second place. The injustice of it enraged her. Stoick would have never let this happen. But then, why did Hiccup? There was probably a good reason but she didn't care about good reasons. She'd given Hiccup everything – her trust, her body, her heart. She'd given him everything because she thought he'd always hold it with respect and kindness and love. Now she was standing there with nothing.

So, she never meant for _this_ to happen. Never. But he'd been out late with Skullcrusher and he'd found her there. It was obvious that she'd been crying, but he never brought attention to it.

"This seat taken?" he asked, gesturing to the rock beside her.

"It's a free island."

"Is it, now?" he asked, sitting on the rock.

They both stared out at the moon's reflection on the surface of the sea. Astrid liked the sea at night – the way it roared and moved while everything else rested.

She wasn't stupid. She knew how he felt about her. She could read men now; at least Hiccup had given her _that_. She knew when she was wanted. And she'd been avoiding him – for Hiccup, for Ruffnut, for Berk. But none of that really mattered anymore. Astrid took in his profile – strong jaw, heavy brow, expressive face. He was big, muscular, used to getting his way by force. He was the exact opposite of Hiccup.

He didn't look at her when he spoke but he clearly knew she was looking.

"Turned you away, did he?"

"What?"

He turned his smirk toward her and caught her with dark eyes. "A Chief protects his own."

Hiccup's words with a different meaning. Hiccup was doing what needed to be done but it had left Astrid in the cold. She looked away from him and stared at the sea, chewing on her bottom lip, trying to contemplate life without Hiccup. She didn't know what that looked like. She didn't know how it would work.

"Where does that leave me?" she whispered.

She should have pulled away when his fingers caught her chin. She should have looked away when his eyes met hers. She should have turned her face away when he moved in, when his lips met hers. She should have, but she didn't.

She never meant for this to happen. Never.


End file.
